So Near Till I Couldn't Reach You
by GothicGal8541
Summary: Written for Myoo89 on Deviantart. Rated T to be safe. Ivan is a respected surgeon who is best friends with Wang Yue, a book shop assistant who is working to keep herself alive. Random moments do appear, you know.


**Disclaimer: Anything related to Hetalia has nothing to do with me, this is mere fanfiction. There's a bit of possible OOC-ness, Random-ness, and gender bending because that is how I roll.  
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**Done this while listening to :**

**Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind Theme- Jon Brion.  
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><p>You were my best friend for so long. Yet, I couldn't reach out to you. Even if you were cold, I didn't care. I still stayed. With some how, you'd stop chasing the impossible when the answer was right next to you, all the time.<p>

Maybe I'm boring. Yeah, I could see how dull my waist length hair of black and brown eyes were, compared to other girls who looked like the sunshine. I tried to put on a smile, but... how could I? I decided not to think about it and get ready for my job as a book shop assistant.

I'm sorry if I had spaced out, forgetting about you, the one who is reading my thoughts. I'm Wang Yue, 23 years old, slaving at a bookshop to feed myself for about 4 years? Maybe 5, I don't know. Enough about me, I bet you are now wondering who I was getting emotional about. It was my best friend of since collage, Ivan Braginsky, and also paying for most of our rent in a flat. We share an apartment, so what? Living in the city isn't cheap. I studied the Arts while he did Medicine. Yeah, you're going to say that I'm stupid to study art, look at where it got me, and look where it got him. A well respected surgeon with more money than I could ever earn in a month. But he still remained friends with me. And I...couldn't be more happy. 

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><p>It was just another day when I decided to come over to pay a visit when my shift was over. To be honest, Yue, seeing you kind of brightens my own day. But there is something in your smile that seems to be hiding something. I wonder...is it something you can't tell me? You could tell me everything and I vow to keep it with me to the grave.<p>

"Ivan...unless you can help me with these books, please I'm not really in the mood to be disturbed." I smirked, taking the books and arranging it via alphabetically. You seemed surprised. "You have just made my life so much easier, you know that?" "My specialty, da?" You scoffed. "Let me get my bag and coat and we can have dinner afterwards." I only replied with a simple 'okay.'

Yue...I don't want to lose you. How much was your friendship valued...not even the richest billionaire could ever afford it. And I was lucky. We drove back to the three bedrooms and two bathrooms flat we rented out, I crashed in the couch while you made decisions in the fridge.

"Chicken, beef, pork...do we even have any vegetables?" "Remember when you said that the vegetables weren't nice when we did grocery shopping yesterday?" You sighed. Clearly you remembered it. "Well then, fruits for desserts, don't complain, da?" I twitched when you said that last word. "D-da." I scooted off to the bathroom, for you can be obviously scary if I'm not careful.

Feeling fresh, I hear your voice humming as it travel trough my bedroom walls. A soothing melody with it's haunting edge echoing through my mind. I find myself looking blankly to the ceiling with a smile on my face. After a long shift at work, it was a good feeling to listen as you somehow relax my nerves.

I headed to wards the kitchen, getting myself a drink of orange juice or vodka or something, just some liquid to drain the dryness on my throat. For some strange reason I had this sexual fantasy of you just taking off your singlet and sitting on the kitchen counter...never mind, snap out of it, I mentally said to myself.

"Put a shirt on." "What?" "You heard me, put a shirt on." "Like as if I complained when you tried to find your jeans. Nice legs though." I grabbed the carton of orange juice, pouring it in the glass while you blushed. "That's another story, pervert. I was looking for it so that I wouldn't have to flash in front of you." "But you already did." You tossed the diced chicken meat as if not wanting to pay attention, then putting it in on a plate. "Dinner will be ready soon." "All right, you win." I went outside to get a shirt, any one would do. My eye caught to a white one you had borrowed at one time because all of your clothes were at the washing machine. I took a sniff at it, quite a nice, lovely one you've got. Exotic, as if I'm being transported to a whole new world. But I shake that thought away, putting it on as I think it was the only think that was clean enough to pass your test.

"Rough day?" "What else? But that's nothing compared to yours, right?" "Well...other than that artery that was clogged..." "Ok, please, no descriptions about your surgeries, we're eating here." I smiled and kept silent, piercing what ever left of the chicken into my fork, gobbling it down. You threw me an apple. "I have no intentions of keeping you away, but just eat it, we had too much meat today." You cleared up the table, about to turn the tap to clean it up till I said, "I'll do it." You seemed pleased.

Washing my hands, I went to see you sleeping in the couch. I nudged on your shoulder, whispering "Wake up." "Hmmm?" "You're sleeping on the couch again. It's the fourth time this week." "Did I?" You got up. "I'll just freshen up and yeah..." I heard the bathroom door being closed shut. I allowed myself to lie on the bed, sleep taking over my own head. 

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><p>8:30 in the morning. Should have called you to get up earlier, and I bit my lip. Lucky for me, I worked the 24 hour shift, so I was able to have a day off. I darted out of bed, to open your door, finding you asleep. Finding my nose millimetres away from your cheek, your scent was even stronger that it was on the shirt. "Yue...Yue...wake up." Your eyes blinked, in some sort of a daze that was slightly lost. "W-what? Oh God, I overslept did I?" I placed my hand on your forehead. "Are you having any cold..." "Just drowsy." "Sleep all you need." "I...can't..." "No Yue, you're staying in bed till you feel all right. I'm the doctor here, so I'll call the bookstore about your condition today." A sigh. "Why do you always have a way with convincing me?" You nestled back in the sheets, already sleep has taken over.<p>

So I waited till it was 11 in the morning, with instant noodles for breakfast. I hear your footsteps heading towards the kitchen, so I decided to follow. I almost wanted to look away as you were in nothing more than a bra and shorts. You shoved a few gulps of water down your throat before banging it in the counter. "Morning, Ivan." "O-oh...morning." I've tried to look at you without blushing. "Well...I'm all good and better than I was last night, what should I do now?" "Ummm..." I tried my best to come up with a solution. "Ivan, look at me and just say what should we do?" I couldn't take it anymore and took off my shirt and placed it over your head. "Keep in mind that I'm still a guy." Your shocked face quickly turned to an annoyed expression, but it became a smile? "Anyways, do you plan that we catch a movie, or go to the clubs..." "How about both? We haven't had the time to meet up with other people lately." "Give me half an hour. And here's your shirt back." It landed on my face right before you shut the door. That scent...was even more stronger than it usually was.

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><p>"Tequila sunset." "Martini." I looked around, eyeing the men whom I thought were good looking. "How about that one?" "Where?" "The one near the DJ, white shirt." "Not bad...what about that one with the long blond hair, blue dress, on the far right." "Pretty attractive. Want to make a bet? We get their phone numbers, and who does win 50 dollars." You raised your glass, while I took mines and our glasses made a cling. Gulping down the alcohol, we hit the dance floor to hit on our targets. Spotting him, I just somehow found myself in front of him and swaying my hips to the beat. "Your first time?" "N-no...Just that I feel awkward." "Then loosen up. I'm Wang Yue." "Kiku...Honda Kiku." "Japanese?" "H-hait...and...you are Chinese?" "Yeah... Nice to meet you, Kiku."<p>

We just talked and danced, but I find myself stealing glances at you if I could. I wondered if you were really going to take the bet seriously. "Y-Yue?" "Hmmm?" Crap I got distracted. "M-May I have your number?" Wow, Kiku, you're so straight foreword. I grabbed him to the bar, grabbed the pen near the notepad where on his hand was my mobile phone number in cheap ballpoint pen ink. "Now yours." I could see he was trembling. "A-Arigato!" I could see his other friends were calling him to go back to the dance floor. You came not too long after. I flashed my hand with the obvious number written on it. You flashed yours on a napkin, smirking. "We both won, eh?" "Yeah...let's get out of here, before we get tipsy."

But by now, I was wondering if you are really going to call her. And if so, were you going to forget me? If so, maybe I could give Kiku a call. "Are you going to call her?" "Maybe. What about you?" "Same. Can't really tell if he's good enough." It was going to be a long night, so I slept to ward off the alcohol. 

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><p>Lucky you weren't heavy, as I carried you bridal style, not wanting to wake you up. Placing you slowly on the bed, I couldn't help myself to look at your face. You were peaceful. Nothing was bothering you. I placed the comforter over your body. Part of me want to kiss you, but I held that urge back. I went back to my room to think really deep, looking at that napkin with that phone number written on it, with 'Natalia' on the bottom. I wondered if you were going to give that guy a call, for I have no plans to even make contact with Natalia.<p>

"Thank you." I heard you say. I looked back to find you still in your clubbing clothes. "Was I heavy for you?" "Nah...We've got a long day ahead, best to catch some sleep now." "Yeah...good night." I decided not to think anymore. But you somehow crept into my dreams. I dreamt that you were not my friend, but my...wife? 

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><p>"What's your shift today?" "12 hours." "All right then, when you get back there will be dinner in the fridge." "Something with beef?" "Why beef?" "Don't know." I rolled my eyes. "Maybe." "Ok. Good luck at work." "You too." I got out of your precious Volvo while carefully closing the door. Back to my boring workplace as I count the hours.<p>

Around sometime after my lunch break, I was arranging books again till someone came up to me. "Y-Yue?" Kiku. "Oh...hi. Can I help you?" "Yue...do...you..." "Yes, your name is Kiku Honda, the guy I met yesterday at the club. Right?" "Y-yes...umm...could you help me find a book on...Greek culture." "Ok...shall I lead the way?" I took him to one section, mainly about travelling and things like that. I searched the selves till I found one that fits the bill. "You're lucky, Kiku, this is the last book in store." "A-Arigato. Where's the cashier?" "Oh...it's just in front of this shop." "Y-Yue...would you mind going on a date?" "I-I don't know, my week seems busy." "It's ok... I can wait." I flashed a smile at him. "Call me ok?" "H-hait. Thank you for you time."

I waved him goodbye. Lucky for me it was Saturday, and my hours were over before I know it. The shop was closed tomorrow. Watched a bit of television before making some meatballs, following a recipe I had found by a Swedish chef. 8:30 in the evening. Eating in silence again. Can't blame you, you work impossible hours. But then you came back, 25 minutes too early. "I thought you were..." "They let me off earlier then expected. " "Well, dinner is on the table, if you want, I could reheat it for you." "Nah, I'm just so hungry."

Silence on our dinner again. "How's work?" I tried to break it. "Not much, but I did met up with Natalia." "Who?" "That girl I met in the club." "Oh. She seems nice." "Can be a bit scary. But I'm wondering how should I...well..." "Spit it out." "Seduce her." You seemed embarrassed. "So...you want to get laid?" "Well..." "No need to say more, I'll help you, in return you help me." "In what? Seduction with that guy?" "Bingo. You in or not?" "Deal." 

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><p>"Ok, so...after she lets you in her place, you would be most likely to run your hand on her hair, placing your lips in her temple." "Ok...then what happens?" "Well...it's better done than said. Just think of me as her, even if it is awkward." I got closer to you, till my lips could almost touch your nape. I ran my fingers on your hair, combing it again...and again. "Ok...that's good. Now, run your hand inside my shirt." "Mmm..." "But if I did this..." I felt your hand brush away mines. "Means I don't like it, or you'll get slapped." "Took note." "Now...you run your hand again, this time I want it." Man, your skin... "Feel for a clasp." I bit my lip to let my fingers feel for those...little hooks?<p>

"Ok...now pinch both sides...Ouch, now you are pinching my skin, no...ah yes...that's the way. Not bad on your first attempt." My fingers tried to get a bit more from your skin. You smiled, buckling it back. "Your turn now." "All right, usually you would... let your hands do the talking." "Like how?" "Well, you could..." "Wait is it any better if I get closer?" "Yeah." "Okay, so here I am on your lap, now what?" "Let your hand run up my thigh, slowly." "Okay...then..." "You could whisper God knows what in his ear, then bite it, BUT with your lips." Your hand glided my thigh like as if it was water, then your breath got close to my own ear. "Like this?" with your lips gently pressing on. "It's...good enough." "Ok. Thank you." You got away, as if with a teasing feel to it. Awkward moments. They do happen between us.

"Are you really going to call her?" "Well...she's nice, attractive, but scary. I'm still deciding. What about you?" "Well, he's shy, straight to the point...ok in my books. Same as you." But I see you bring your knees up, hugging your legs, deep in thought. "What's wrong?" "Nothing." "Yue, there is something wrong." "No, there isn't, Ivan." I didn't care, I hugged you while you respond it back. As we turned away, the exhaled air on our skin tingled. We both lunged towards each other, lips going hungry with exploration. But then, we just stopped. "What was..." "That?" "Yeah..." Breaths were heavy. "I..." "Yeah..." We then retired to our bedrooms, not wanting to acknowledge what just happened. 

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><p>25th birthday. I feel ridiculously old. Dating Kiku for about 2 years now, and he just recently proposed. I said 'yes'. And yes, in case you are wondering, I moved out of that apartment me and Ivan shared, it just got so awkward since that...thing, you know what I'm saying? Even so, we barely contacted each other, nor see the other again. Too busy with work and relationships to even bother. Which really did hurt. Even if living with Kiku, I tried to forget Ivan, yet I couldn't.<p>

Kiku had to stay overtime due to something that went on at work. He said he was sorry, and yet, I didn't mind, and said that we could celebrate it another day. So here I am, alone on my birthday, and at a diner with a warm cup of cocoa. No cake, nothing. Then, I saw you. You had changed slightly. Then you looked at me, approached me. "Hey." "Hey." "Is this seat taken?" "No." You sat opposite me. "How are things going?" "Not too good." "W-why?" You bit your lip. "I just broke up with Natalia. And to think I was about to give her this, before I realise that she had been cheating on me." You took out a box on your pocket, Which I curiously opened, to reveal a ring, glittering in awe of it's beauty. "I'm ..." "Save it, I don't need it for now." You sipped on your coffee. "Oh, and congratulations." "For what?" "Your engagement." You saw my hand, with a ring that binds me to the man that I'm not sure that he was the right one. "Oh...thank you." Silence. Sometimes it's deafening, and you just want to break it. "How's work?" "Got promoted. You?" "All is good. I left the bookshop to become a florist. " "Lucky, at least you are doing what you love now. I forgot, Happy Birthday." "Thank you. but it's not gong in the way I wanted it to be." "Why is that?" I sighed. "I just don't think Kiku's the one. I mean...he's nice and all, but he isn't the right one, you know what I mean?" "Guess so." We took silent sips of our respective drinks.

Both of our cups were empty. "Do you..." "Hmm?" "Nah, that sounds stupid." "Go on, tell me." "Want to walk around, forget what happened?" "...Yeah, that sounds good." We set the money down, leaving the empty diner. I couldn't be more confused at what was going on, or how did I agreed to follow you. It was just like how we used to be in collage. Heavy drops of rain then followed. You scrammed into the nearest place to find shelter, but I just stayed. This wet feeling, so rushed but with a gentle pace. Wash it away, for I don't care anymore. "YUE!" I didn't even want to listen to his voice. "Godamnit, Yue, you could catch a cold or something, now come in." And then we both stayed in the rain, not moving an inch. I felt him pulling me closer, whilst my feet reluctantly followed him. And soon, I find myself in the apartment we used to share. The shower wasn't the same like the rain, but I shook that thought away. The apartment didn't change much, other than it was slightly more messy. I slipped into his shirt, making myself comfortable into the couch. Hearing the ruffle of clothes and him settling down on the couch next to me, bliss.

"I'll just stay till the rain goes away." "What if I didn't want you to go?" "What?" "What if I said something I should have told you?" "I don't get it Ivan." You looked at me. "Natalia wasn't like you, Yue. She was cold, hard. She doesn't understand. Not like...you," My mind was racing, with my heart felt like as if it could have been a ticking time bomb. "What are you implying?" You shut me up. A spin, confusion with the weirdest of emotions I never felt before. "What else?" "You're just playing with me, Nothing..." "I took it very seriously. Even the kiss before this. You know what I mean." I bit my lip. Of course. "I'm no good for you, Ivan. We...We're like total opposites, I'm almost like a nobody, while you have a respectable job and all..." "Yue. First, you talk too much." Good way to keep me quiet at that moment. "Second, How are we to know if we didn't give this a shot?" The minutes tick. "You in or out?" I smiled, kissing your cheek, whispering my own answer.

"Definitely in." 


End file.
